renewedlight: (pic#15862354)
★ Star Guardian Xayah ★ ([personal profile] renewedlight) wrote in [community profile] carminacumulo 2023-04-03 07:11 pm (UTC)

[He's still a little all over the place and there's a lot to take in and sort through. But it's more concise. A timeline full of emotions and pain. And she's glad to have it. Glad to know what he's thinking and feeling. Glad that it's not being hidden from her any longer. Because if she can see it. And if she knows that it exists. She can fix it.

She breathes out slow leaning into his touch when he scoots closer. Her hands moving over his, returning every loving gesture as he works through what happened to him.

Most importantly what he's saying makes sense. About when they were lost in the darkness together. Where revenge is what kept her going for him, in turn, it was her. And without either they'd both have fallen even further. He just saved her before it could happen. She can only be mad at herself that being so angry at those circumstances blinded her to Rakan's pain. Would that she could do things differently.

She will make it up to him.

Xayah wiggles some to turn herself around in his grasp. Not trying to untangle herself from him and lose his hold but enough that she can turn around and face him. And when she can look at him in those brilliant eyes that are finally the right color and so full of adoration for her that she's finally seeing again she feels... at ease. She cups his face in her hands, gently brushing her thumbs along his cheekbones.]


I'm not scared of you. You will never frighten me no matter how lost you get. But I was scared for you. [She continues to brush her fingers along his face giving herself a moment to articulate just how she wants to say what needs to be said.] I never stopped loving you. Or fighting for you. It didn't matter what you did to me... I would keep at it all the same. And I knew it wasn't you. [She smirks a little.] You said I didn't like knives. You know I love knives. I knew that wasn't you... or quite you. That anything you said was to push me away so that you would stop hurting me. But I wouldn't let that happen. I wouldn't give up on you.

I will choose you every time.

But... regardless of what was or wasn't quite us I know you did things that are regrettable. I know the fear of the darkness that still exists and you wonder if you'll do those terrible things again. I am genuinely afraid I might lose you again. That we'd have to do it all over. But even if that's the case... I'd fight even harder. What can be done once can be done again.

[She presses her lips to the tip of his nose, offering a gentle kiss to ease any high strung feelings but nothing that could get carried away with.]

Which is why I'm asking... Are you okay? And if not how can I help. [She pinches his cheeks a little.] Serious answers only.

[None of this "Well a kiss will fix me up perfectly!" None of that. Though she will kiss him once they sort through this proper.]

Rakan you endlessly support me no matter what I do or where we go. Lean on me too... And know that I will always fight for you. Be it against light or darkness or anything in between. It's you... You are my first light.

[Okay. That's pretty cheesy. Embarrassingly so... Thank the stars they're alone. But... she does mean it with all her heart.]

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