Of course not physically. It was too soon, and he didn't want to rouse any panic in her with his absence. He almost didn't want to rouse any panic in himself, that he, too, could've just been dreaming away the last remnants of himself that lay underneath the pitch that had choked his heart.
He'd cook, he'd clean with her, they'd go grocery shopping, errand-running together.
Rakan didn't seem to mind. Before, they both enjoyed independent time apart with their own hobbies and circles just as much as they enjoyed intermingling these things with their time spent together, at present, both seemed in a sort of fugue state. Still somewhere in a haze of post-trauma, trying to settle back into the new reality that wasn't them constantly literally fighting for survival.
He understood, too, she was a creature that processed things differently from him, and she'd need time just as much as he needed time.
Sometimes alone time in the shower was the perfect place to sit down, with the water running over him when the guilt and frustration got to be too much. Where he could reprimand himself, pep-talk himself, fight with himself. Somewhere that wasn't in front of Xayah. Pressure releases so he could better wait for a time that it could be brought up.
When things chewed at either of their minds, before, just as now, he had no qualms with being patient. Would always give her time and space to simmer over something before pushing her buttons to try and get her to let things out. He brushed off her attitudes or defensive quips with no problem at all, because she'd always apologize when they finally talked. She processed things internally. He understood that. Conversely, Rakan's frustration came out as anxious energy--he was emotions everywhere and just as snippy and ready to snap, but he didn't stop to process, he just felt. He'd work himself up into knots trying to explain things to Xayah--always just the straw that broke his back and got him so wound up. She just let him huff and puff around until she worked out what was really eating him. And when she finally gave him the words for it, they talked.
He knew--he knew what was eating her now. She had the weight of her own guilt on her shoulders, as well as wanting to assuage his own guilt.
Of course he forgave her. Of course he wasn't upset or angry at her. How could he be? Why would he be?
Rakan couldn't hold a grudge if someone super glued it to both of his hands. He wasn't afraid or angry of the darkness, nor of his time in it. It just existed, and now it didn't. Or maybe it did, but who cared? He'd deal with it then.
He thought this was just a matter of waiting and giving her time and space until she was ready. Letting her work out what she felt comfortable to open with and say, cause there was a lot. It was overwhelming.
He was patient and charming as he always had been, but he was waiting. In their private moments, he waited and hoped she would be ready. The waiting and waiting and watching kept him on a slight edge. Was she really just alright? There was no way she was just alright. Did she think he hated her? He didn't, but she wasn't a mind reader.
When Seraphine chimed in upon their arrival, he made contemplative duck-lips, glancing between Seraphine and Xayah before looking aside in a thoughtful manner. His tail curled a little, his ears twitched. The cogs in his head all clicked into place with a speed Orianna could marvel at, and a split-second decision was made.
He could have just dashed to Seraphine to sweep her up into a dance with a smile and a promise. Something to make her laugh and brush it aside, but Xayah's response just didn't. Vibe. And this was as good of an opportunity as ever. He wouldn't be interrupting a good moment, wouldn't be making a bad moment worse. At least that's what he thought, anyway. It was public, in front of all their friends, but. Well. Maybe it was fine to give her that push. ]
Weeellll, we talked about the new training schedule. And getting me re-enrolled so you guys can see my handsome face all. day. [ He pointed his thumbs at his chest and puffed out his feathers like the little peacock he could be. ]
But if you mean about that time I turned super-evil for real and dragged you guys all across Valoran City until we had a big super-villain show down followed by the current redemption arc, then...
No. [ He said all of that at lightning speed in one breath, slowing down only for the dramatic pause at the end, and letting the last word linger and drawl to fade on the breeze that blew between them. ] But yeah! Footing!
[ Senna's brows raised and she just looked between the two of them with a visible 'oh no' plastered on her face. Concern, worry, understanding, flabbergasted. All at once. Orianna might have been about to say something. In fact, her mouth had just started to open, and Senna heard both Orianna take that breath, and saw Seraphine about to explode with an obscene amount of energy, and as well-meaning as both of them undoubtedly were, she Knew Better.
'Hey let's go edit some of that vlog footage, Seraphine! You too, Ori.' Senna blurted out with a stern yell over anything Orianna or Seraphine tried to start saying. Ori was grabbed by the hand, while Seraphine was dragged down the hillside by her arm, instead, with Seraphine doing maybe a little confused squawking followed by an 'oooooh yeah okay.'
Senna made sure to give Xayah A Look as she passed by. That 'say the word and we'll slap him' look that Rakan caught sight of and pouted over. The three ladies left the two birds to hopefully sort some things out, and as they headed back towards the city, a little bit of the bickering between Senna, Orianna, and Seraphine faded into the distance.
Rakan, on the other hand, fell backwards onto his butt to sit in the grass, legs stretched out in front of him. He let the silence linger for a minute as he watched her, looking up at her through his lashes. ]
Sooooooo....maybe, uh. We should talk about it? [ He didn't think this far ahead. He never did. Sort of a strength and weakness of his. ]
no subject
Of course not physically. It was too soon, and he didn't want to rouse any panic in her with his absence. He almost didn't want to rouse any panic in himself, that he, too, could've just been dreaming away the last remnants of himself that lay underneath the pitch that had choked his heart.
He'd cook, he'd clean with her, they'd go grocery shopping, errand-running together.
Rakan didn't seem to mind. Before, they both enjoyed independent time apart with their own hobbies and circles just as much as they enjoyed intermingling these things with their time spent together, at present, both seemed in a sort of fugue state. Still somewhere in a haze of post-trauma, trying to settle back into the new reality that wasn't them constantly literally fighting for survival.
He understood, too, she was a creature that processed things differently from him, and she'd need time just as much as he needed time.
Sometimes alone time in the shower was the perfect place to sit down, with the water running over him when the guilt and frustration got to be too much. Where he could reprimand himself, pep-talk himself, fight with himself. Somewhere that wasn't in front of Xayah. Pressure releases so he could better wait for a time that it could be brought up.
When things chewed at either of their minds, before, just as now, he had no qualms with being patient. Would always give her time and space to simmer over something before pushing her buttons to try and get her to let things out. He brushed off her attitudes or defensive quips with no problem at all, because she'd always apologize when they finally talked. She processed things internally. He understood that. Conversely, Rakan's frustration came out as anxious energy--he was emotions everywhere and just as snippy and ready to snap, but he didn't stop to process, he just felt. He'd work himself up into knots trying to explain things to Xayah--always just the straw that broke his back and got him so wound up. She just let him huff and puff around until she worked out what was really eating him. And when she finally gave him the words for it, they talked.
He knew--he knew what was eating her now. She had the weight of her own guilt on her shoulders, as well as wanting to assuage his own guilt.
Of course he forgave her. Of course he wasn't upset or angry at her. How could he be? Why would he be?
Rakan couldn't hold a grudge if someone super glued it to both of his hands. He wasn't afraid or angry of the darkness, nor of his time in it. It just existed, and now it didn't. Or maybe it did, but who cared? He'd deal with it then.
He thought this was just a matter of waiting and giving her time and space until she was ready. Letting her work out what she felt comfortable to open with and say, cause there was a lot. It was overwhelming.
He was patient and charming as he always had been, but he was waiting. In their private moments, he waited and hoped she would be ready. The waiting and waiting and watching kept him on a slight edge. Was she really just alright? There was no way she was just alright. Did she think he hated her? He didn't, but she wasn't a mind reader.
When Seraphine chimed in upon their arrival, he made contemplative duck-lips, glancing between Seraphine and Xayah before looking aside in a thoughtful manner. His tail curled a little, his ears twitched. The cogs in his head all clicked into place with a speed Orianna could marvel at, and a split-second decision was made.
He could have just dashed to Seraphine to sweep her up into a dance with a smile and a promise. Something to make her laugh and brush it aside, but Xayah's response just didn't. Vibe. And this was as good of an opportunity as ever. He wouldn't be interrupting a good moment, wouldn't be making a bad moment worse. At least that's what he thought, anyway. It was public, in front of all their friends, but. Well. Maybe it was fine to give her that push. ]
Weeellll, we talked about the new training schedule. And getting me re-enrolled so you guys can see my handsome face all. day. [ He pointed his thumbs at his chest and puffed out his feathers like the little peacock he could be. ]
But if you mean about that time I turned super-evil for real and dragged you guys all across Valoran City until we had a big super-villain show down followed by the current redemption arc, then...
No. [ He said all of that at lightning speed in one breath, slowing down only for the dramatic pause at the end, and letting the last word linger and drawl to fade on the breeze that blew between them. ] But yeah! Footing!
[ Senna's brows raised and she just looked between the two of them with a visible 'oh no' plastered on her face. Concern, worry, understanding, flabbergasted. All at once. Orianna might have been about to say something. In fact, her mouth had just started to open, and Senna heard both Orianna take that breath, and saw Seraphine about to explode with an obscene amount of energy, and as well-meaning as both of them undoubtedly were, she Knew Better.
'Hey let's go edit some of that vlog footage, Seraphine! You too, Ori.' Senna blurted out with a stern yell over anything Orianna or Seraphine tried to start saying. Ori was grabbed by the hand, while Seraphine was dragged down the hillside by her arm, instead, with Seraphine doing maybe a little confused squawking followed by an 'oooooh yeah okay.'
Senna made sure to give Xayah A Look as she passed by. That 'say the word and we'll slap him' look that Rakan caught sight of and pouted over. The three ladies left the two birds to hopefully sort some things out, and as they headed back towards the city, a little bit of the bickering between Senna, Orianna, and Seraphine faded into the distance.
Rakan, on the other hand, fell backwards onto his butt to sit in the grass, legs stretched out in front of him. He let the silence linger for a minute as he watched her, looking up at her through his lashes. ]
Sooooooo....maybe, uh. We should talk about it? [ He didn't think this far ahead. He never did. Sort of a strength and weakness of his. ]