There was a difference at letting things go, and bottling them up, and Rakan was not suited for the later. Of course, he hadn't been bottling it up, just waiting for the right time, but waiting wasn't something he was the best at, either.
It wasn't hard to recall how he felt, but his thoughts were like a big nebulous cloud of emotions and reasoning and commentary all intermingling and wrapping around and through eachother, that it was impossible to explain one idea without unraveling the entire tapestry of it, everything around it, and all of those sub-thoughts and ideas. But then when unraveling a tapestry, where does one start?
He had his starting point: he felt bad about hurting Xayah, and from there it was easy for him to run around between all of his ideas and get it out.
Rakan blinked when she started to wriggle, and unfurled the clamshell of his body to give her space to move and get comfortable as she liked before wrapping and draping over her once more. Or..as well as he could, now that she was facing him.
He liked this better.
His ears perked up, and while he didn't flash a bright grin or warm smile, there was a familiar excitement and spark of joy there. Her hands cup his face and he can't help but melt into a familiar grin and tilt his head into one of her hands, almost bashful if he wasn't so full of himself all the time. It was easy to just enjoy the moment, the break in the clouds now that so much of it was just out of him, but then the topic of their conversation came floating back into his head, and his smile melted into something more apologetic. ]
The day you stop liking knives is the day I stop liking chocolate. [ He snorted with a laugh and grinned at the idea, but fell silent again in contemplation. He was more comfortable now, and could better sort through his thoughts now that the concepts were all out in the open. ]
I know. I know you would. I love that! I love you, and I love that about you. But babe, I don't--I don't want to put you in a situation where you gotta deal with that again. I don't want to ask that of you again. I don't wanna do that again. That's like the whole point of loving someone: knowing they'd do that without putting them in a situation where they gotta.
I know you don't wanna put me in a situation like that again either.
[ Aw yeah, a nose-kiss. Nose-kisses were so cute. She looked like a little doll when she did it, all cute and sweet. Rakan's ears pinned back and he leaned in to steal a kiss to her cheek. Just a little teaser. But then she made him have to answer things. He pouted. Looked like he just suffered atop ten anime betrayal. ]
Okay, okay!!
I mean. I am your first light, so pfft--obviously I'm okay. I'm gonna get that cross-stitched and hung on the wall, by the way.
But..if you are, yeah. I'm okay. I was worried about you keeping it all bottled up. You looked like you were about to explode over there.
And I think about the whole darkness thing? I didn't like the evil part. I can do without that. In fact, I will do without that. But there was a lot there. Like a lot going on.
[ And now for the seamless transition into dramatics: A toothy grin spread on his lips, his ears pinned back and his tail curled, like a cat ready to pounce. ]
It's so much, Xayah! Oh no!! I think--I think. I think I'm slipping! [ He let her go to fall backwards on his back and put an arm dramatically over his forehead. ] Only kisses can save me! I think it's bad! We might even need to make out!
ok im on desktop now so swapping between action and dialogue isn't a pain
There was a difference at letting things go, and bottling them up, and Rakan was not suited for the later. Of course, he hadn't been bottling it up, just waiting for the right time, but waiting wasn't something he was the best at, either.
It wasn't hard to recall how he felt, but his thoughts were like a big nebulous cloud of emotions and reasoning and commentary all intermingling and wrapping around and through eachother, that it was impossible to explain one idea without unraveling the entire tapestry of it, everything around it, and all of those sub-thoughts and ideas. But then when unraveling a tapestry, where does one start?
He had his starting point: he felt bad about hurting Xayah, and from there it was easy for him to run around between all of his ideas and get it out.
Rakan blinked when she started to wriggle, and unfurled the clamshell of his body to give her space to move and get comfortable as she liked before wrapping and draping over her once more. Or..as well as he could, now that she was facing him.
He liked this better.
His ears perked up, and while he didn't flash a bright grin or warm smile, there was a familiar excitement and spark of joy there. Her hands cup his face and he can't help but melt into a familiar grin and tilt his head into one of her hands, almost bashful if he wasn't so full of himself all the time. It was easy to just enjoy the moment, the break in the clouds now that so much of it was just out of him, but then the topic of their conversation came floating back into his head, and his smile melted into something more apologetic. ]
The day you stop liking knives is the day I stop liking chocolate. [ He snorted with a laugh and grinned at the idea, but fell silent again in contemplation. He was more comfortable now, and could better sort through his thoughts now that the concepts were all out in the open. ]
I know. I know you would. I love that! I love you, and I love that about you. But babe, I don't--I don't want to put you in a situation where you gotta deal with that again. I don't want to ask that of you again. I don't wanna do that again. That's like the whole point of loving someone: knowing they'd do that without putting them in a situation where they gotta.
I know you don't wanna put me in a situation like that again either.
[ Aw yeah, a nose-kiss. Nose-kisses were so cute. She looked like a little doll when she did it, all cute and sweet. Rakan's ears pinned back and he leaned in to steal a kiss to her cheek. Just a little teaser. But then she made him have to answer things. He pouted. Looked like he just suffered atop ten anime betrayal. ]
Okay, okay!!
I mean. I am your first light, so pfft--obviously I'm okay. I'm gonna get that cross-stitched and hung on the wall, by the way.
But..if you are, yeah. I'm okay. I was worried about you keeping it all bottled up. You looked like you were about to explode over there.
And I think about the whole darkness thing? I didn't like the evil part. I can do without that. In fact, I will do without that. But there was a lot there. Like a lot going on.
[ And now for the seamless transition into dramatics: A toothy grin spread on his lips, his ears pinned back and his tail curled, like a cat ready to pounce. ]
It's so much, Xayah! Oh no!! I think--I think. I think I'm slipping! [ He let her go to fall backwards on his back and put an arm dramatically over his forehead. ] Only kisses can save me! I think it's bad! We might even need to make out!