Rakan || The Charmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stickbow) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
carminacumulo2023-03-30 07:00 pm
stickbow) wrote in carminacumulo2023-03-30 07:00 pm
Entry tags:
So let's pretend a little longer
If anyone could flirt with falling, with death, with darkness in whatever sadistic form it could take, and come out alive, it had to be Rakan.
Not because he was some stupid, childish, too-good-to-be-true prince charming or some smarmy idiot that pretended to have terminal Main Character Syndrome just for the drama and entertainment of it. Not because it was some hidden-in-plain-view facade that he really was some kind of Main Character, like Lux or Lulu.
It had to be Rakan because, by very nature, he was always perfectly comfortable with light and darkness in equal measure. Underneath his wit and boyish charms, he didn't quite have what people called an old soul, but there was a natural sort of wisdom there. Just as the trees knew when to go dormant and when to bloom, Rakan seemed comfortable with light and darkness, and their mutable natures. Chaos wasn't bad, Light wasn't good. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. He moved through both realms with a natural ease.
---
He'd been playing games of cat-and-mouse with Xayah and a bunch of Star Guardians he hadn't crossed paths with in quite a long time. It was a game he excelled at, and had hitherto always run her in circles, dangling hope in her face like a carrot on a stick. Maybe this time she could be fast enough, maybe she was strong enough, maybe he didn't mean the things he said, maybe he didn't really mean the things he did. Maybe it was all just Zoe making him do it.
He couldn't let her get to him before.
Rakan knew himself, he knew that if Xayah got too close, he would throw everything away for her, even if it meant the death of the universe, if it was to make her smile, he would damn it all in a heartbeat.
He couldn't let her get too far away from him, either, or he might forget.
He might let himself get lost in Zoe's wrath and hurt. He might want to tear everything apart because the First Star didn't care how much he Z̴̡̫̳̫̙̞̯̘͎͗͑̑̂́̚͠ò̸̥̔͑̽͆ę̸̟͖̭͗͆̂̕̚ and Xayah H̵̨̼̘̓̔͝a̷̢̲̰͑r̴̜̦̳̤̭͉͗͌͋̅́̔p̶̫̭͎̳͍̱̮͑̑̔̄̑̓̅͝ͅ loved one another, and he might truly be gone, then.
Before leaving to find Nilah, Syndra was the one that told Ahri about Kai'sa.
---
Chess boards and fractured architecture floated in empty space. Somewhere off in the distance, an eternal night hid underneath a raging vortex of meteorites and debris of places long gone and forgotten--all of which, despite having neither eyes nor mouths, still felt like they were clawing to rip anyone who deign travel this realm into frayed pieces.
Rakan had almost been a one-man army. Well. Him and all of the void-hounds and other monsters that surrounded the two teams, anyway.
He had numbers on his side, but the monsters were suspiciously weak. Just distractions and busy work, always conveniently in the way when one of them almost had Rakan in their grasp.
Rakan never engaged Xayah directly, never properly. Sometimes sweep her up in a dance and remind her of the 'good old days,' but the second she twitched in his hold, he'd leap easily out of reach. It was always a few moments of attention paid especially to her, to taunt her. To tell her he's the best she ever had, and the best she'll never get. And then he was off again to one of the other Star Nerds. Two, three, four could engage him at a time, it didn't matter.
It wasn't that Rakan was particularly strong. He didn't need to be when he could just throw more minions at them. His skill had always been in his nimbleness and flashy nature, and how he danced around the battlefield. Ekko, Akali, and Kai'sa could get on top of him on occasion, but he'd just slip away to someone else with a rude gesture and a reminder that 'it wasn't their turn with him.'
He mocked any of the Star Guardians any time they reminded Xayah not to listen to him, that it's not really 'him.'
He toyed with them, his laughter a deep baritone that haunted this pocket of the chaos realm. True to a supervillain's rapport, of course. The difference between a criminal and a supervillain being, always, presentation.
But even as a fallen star guardian, he was still an imperfect, finite being. He was still Rakan, despite it all. And Xayah still knew him better than anyone else here. Knew patience would be her trump card over him.
It would come down to just the two of them.
Rakan had no interest in Kai'sa or Xayah's teams. They were just shiny new toys to play with. One by one, he got bored or frustrated with them. Those that threatened to overpower him were dealt with swiftly by minions, those that weren't as much of a direct threat, he enjoyed trying to read and figure out. As Rakan started to slow down, the Star Guardians were put down faster and faster by more and more waves of petty underlings. The ones with any energy at all left to fight back were simply harassed by the underlings, but not particularly attacked.
It was just down to the two of them, battered and bruised and bloody.
He scowled at her, but it wasn't clear why. The expression on his face was in knots, torn between anger, frustration, regret, disappointment. Something pent up he was trying to say, but couldn't. He could only seethe.
They could read eachother too well, even the minutiae. Their duel was full of almosts. She almost pinned him with her feathers, he almost swept her up into the air. She almost clocked him in the jaw, and he almost nailed her with a chunk of the chaos realm. She set a trap she knew he'd spring, he knew what she was trying and threw her trap back in her face.
Back and forth. The other guardians could only watch. Barely even that. A lot of them were no longer even transformed, but at least still breathing. Those with any energy left were staring down the minions bouncing around, as if they were about to attack, even though they never did.
Rakan was drenched in sweat and bleeding down the side of his face.
Once it came down to the two of them, he dropped the facade of arrogance. His was a very pointed focus--something quite rare for him--until he took a split-second opportunity in a moment's uncertainty to dart into her face. To scoop her up by the throat. Even this exhausted, he was just strong enough.
His legs might have shook under him, but his cape of feathers raised and glowed. His jaw clenched, and he gave her that look again. That look full of knots that juggled twelve different emotions at once. He bared his fanged teeth, brows quivering. He looked like he wanted to yell, to talk, to scream, to apologize, to throw her, to shake her, to cry onto her, to lecture her, all at once. Like he hated that he loved her, but loved her too much to ever stop loving her all at once.
He had never been one to bottle things up. It was more like a constipation. Hopelessness and helplessness that left him too constipated to do anything but drag her around by the heart for months on end until it fulminated in this moment.
"Don't make me do this too, baby." He wasn't threatening her. He murmured quietly for just them to hear.
He sacrificed everything not once, but twice for her. His life, his light.
His hand tightened around her throat.
That same thing clawing at his ribs like a wild animal, that had infiltrated that arrogant facade and screwed it up with a million different emotions flickering all at once, was begging her to not let him drown.
Not because he was some stupid, childish, too-good-to-be-true prince charming or some smarmy idiot that pretended to have terminal Main Character Syndrome just for the drama and entertainment of it. Not because it was some hidden-in-plain-view facade that he really was some kind of Main Character, like Lux or Lulu.
It had to be Rakan because, by very nature, he was always perfectly comfortable with light and darkness in equal measure. Underneath his wit and boyish charms, he didn't quite have what people called an old soul, but there was a natural sort of wisdom there. Just as the trees knew when to go dormant and when to bloom, Rakan seemed comfortable with light and darkness, and their mutable natures. Chaos wasn't bad, Light wasn't good. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. He moved through both realms with a natural ease.
---
He'd been playing games of cat-and-mouse with Xayah and a bunch of Star Guardians he hadn't crossed paths with in quite a long time. It was a game he excelled at, and had hitherto always run her in circles, dangling hope in her face like a carrot on a stick. Maybe this time she could be fast enough, maybe she was strong enough, maybe he didn't mean the things he said, maybe he didn't really mean the things he did. Maybe it was all just Zoe making him do it.
He couldn't let her get to him before.
Rakan knew himself, he knew that if Xayah got too close, he would throw everything away for her, even if it meant the death of the universe, if it was to make her smile, he would damn it all in a heartbeat.
He couldn't let her get too far away from him, either, or he might forget.
He might let himself get lost in Zoe's wrath and hurt. He might want to tear everything apart because the First Star didn't care how much he Z̴̡̫̳̫̙̞̯̘͎͗͑̑̂́̚͠ò̸̥̔͑̽͆ę̸̟͖̭͗͆̂̕̚ and Xayah H̵̨̼̘̓̔͝a̷̢̲̰͑r̴̜̦̳̤̭͉͗͌͋̅́̔p̶̫̭͎̳͍̱̮͑̑̔̄̑̓̅͝ͅ loved one another, and he might truly be gone, then.
Before leaving to find Nilah, Syndra was the one that told Ahri about Kai'sa.
---
Chess boards and fractured architecture floated in empty space. Somewhere off in the distance, an eternal night hid underneath a raging vortex of meteorites and debris of places long gone and forgotten--all of which, despite having neither eyes nor mouths, still felt like they were clawing to rip anyone who deign travel this realm into frayed pieces.
Rakan had almost been a one-man army. Well. Him and all of the void-hounds and other monsters that surrounded the two teams, anyway.
He had numbers on his side, but the monsters were suspiciously weak. Just distractions and busy work, always conveniently in the way when one of them almost had Rakan in their grasp.
Rakan never engaged Xayah directly, never properly. Sometimes sweep her up in a dance and remind her of the 'good old days,' but the second she twitched in his hold, he'd leap easily out of reach. It was always a few moments of attention paid especially to her, to taunt her. To tell her he's the best she ever had, and the best she'll never get. And then he was off again to one of the other Star Nerds. Two, three, four could engage him at a time, it didn't matter.
It wasn't that Rakan was particularly strong. He didn't need to be when he could just throw more minions at them. His skill had always been in his nimbleness and flashy nature, and how he danced around the battlefield. Ekko, Akali, and Kai'sa could get on top of him on occasion, but he'd just slip away to someone else with a rude gesture and a reminder that 'it wasn't their turn with him.'
He mocked any of the Star Guardians any time they reminded Xayah not to listen to him, that it's not really 'him.'
He toyed with them, his laughter a deep baritone that haunted this pocket of the chaos realm. True to a supervillain's rapport, of course. The difference between a criminal and a supervillain being, always, presentation.
But even as a fallen star guardian, he was still an imperfect, finite being. He was still Rakan, despite it all. And Xayah still knew him better than anyone else here. Knew patience would be her trump card over him.
It would come down to just the two of them.
Rakan had no interest in Kai'sa or Xayah's teams. They were just shiny new toys to play with. One by one, he got bored or frustrated with them. Those that threatened to overpower him were dealt with swiftly by minions, those that weren't as much of a direct threat, he enjoyed trying to read and figure out. As Rakan started to slow down, the Star Guardians were put down faster and faster by more and more waves of petty underlings. The ones with any energy at all left to fight back were simply harassed by the underlings, but not particularly attacked.
It was just down to the two of them, battered and bruised and bloody.
He scowled at her, but it wasn't clear why. The expression on his face was in knots, torn between anger, frustration, regret, disappointment. Something pent up he was trying to say, but couldn't. He could only seethe.
They could read eachother too well, even the minutiae. Their duel was full of almosts. She almost pinned him with her feathers, he almost swept her up into the air. She almost clocked him in the jaw, and he almost nailed her with a chunk of the chaos realm. She set a trap she knew he'd spring, he knew what she was trying and threw her trap back in her face.
Back and forth. The other guardians could only watch. Barely even that. A lot of them were no longer even transformed, but at least still breathing. Those with any energy left were staring down the minions bouncing around, as if they were about to attack, even though they never did.
Rakan was drenched in sweat and bleeding down the side of his face.
Once it came down to the two of them, he dropped the facade of arrogance. His was a very pointed focus--something quite rare for him--until he took a split-second opportunity in a moment's uncertainty to dart into her face. To scoop her up by the throat. Even this exhausted, he was just strong enough.
His legs might have shook under him, but his cape of feathers raised and glowed. His jaw clenched, and he gave her that look again. That look full of knots that juggled twelve different emotions at once. He bared his fanged teeth, brows quivering. He looked like he wanted to yell, to talk, to scream, to apologize, to throw her, to shake her, to cry onto her, to lecture her, all at once. Like he hated that he loved her, but loved her too much to ever stop loving her all at once.
He had never been one to bottle things up. It was more like a constipation. Hopelessness and helplessness that left him too constipated to do anything but drag her around by the heart for months on end until it fulminated in this moment.
"Don't make me do this too, baby." He wasn't threatening her. He murmured quietly for just them to hear.
He sacrificed everything not once, but twice for her. His life, his light.
His hand tightened around her throat.
That same thing clawing at his ribs like a wild animal, that had infiltrated that arrogant facade and screwed it up with a million different emotions flickering all at once, was begging her to not let him drown.
ok im on desktop now so swapping between action and dialogue isn't a pain
There was a difference at letting things go, and bottling them up, and Rakan was not suited for the later. Of course, he hadn't been bottling it up, just waiting for the right time, but waiting wasn't something he was the best at, either.
It wasn't hard to recall how he felt, but his thoughts were like a big nebulous cloud of emotions and reasoning and commentary all intermingling and wrapping around and through eachother, that it was impossible to explain one idea without unraveling the entire tapestry of it, everything around it, and all of those sub-thoughts and ideas. But then when unraveling a tapestry, where does one start?
He had his starting point: he felt bad about hurting Xayah, and from there it was easy for him to run around between all of his ideas and get it out.
Rakan blinked when she started to wriggle, and unfurled the clamshell of his body to give her space to move and get comfortable as she liked before wrapping and draping over her once more. Or..as well as he could, now that she was facing him.
He liked this better.
His ears perked up, and while he didn't flash a bright grin or warm smile, there was a familiar excitement and spark of joy there. Her hands cup his face and he can't help but melt into a familiar grin and tilt his head into one of her hands, almost bashful if he wasn't so full of himself all the time. It was easy to just enjoy the moment, the break in the clouds now that so much of it was just out of him, but then the topic of their conversation came floating back into his head, and his smile melted into something more apologetic. ]
The day you stop liking knives is the day I stop liking chocolate. [ He snorted with a laugh and grinned at the idea, but fell silent again in contemplation. He was more comfortable now, and could better sort through his thoughts now that the concepts were all out in the open. ]
I know. I know you would. I love that! I love you, and I love that about you. But babe, I don't--I don't want to put you in a situation where you gotta deal with that again. I don't want to ask that of you again. I don't wanna do that again. That's like the whole point of loving someone: knowing they'd do that without putting them in a situation where they gotta.
I know you don't wanna put me in a situation like that again either.
[ Aw yeah, a nose-kiss. Nose-kisses were so cute. She looked like a little doll when she did it, all cute and sweet. Rakan's ears pinned back and he leaned in to steal a kiss to her cheek. Just a little teaser. But then she made him have to answer things. He pouted. Looked like he just suffered atop ten anime betrayal. ]
Okay, okay!!
I mean. I am your first light, so pfft--obviously I'm okay. I'm gonna get that cross-stitched and hung on the wall, by the way.
But..if you are, yeah. I'm okay. I was worried about you keeping it all bottled up. You looked like you were about to explode over there.
And I think about the whole darkness thing? I didn't like the evil part. I can do without that. In fact, I will do without that. But there was a lot there. Like a lot going on.
[ And now for the seamless transition into dramatics: A toothy grin spread on his lips, his ears pinned back and his tail curled, like a cat ready to pounce. ]
It's so much, Xayah! Oh no!! I think--I think. I think I'm slipping! [ He let her go to fall backwards on his back and put an arm dramatically over his forehead. ] Only kisses can save me! I think it's bad! We might even need to make out!
no subject
They can get it commissioned somewhere easy.]
I'm sorry... I didn't want to worry you. I was... [She shakes her head, ears remaining flat as well.] I wanted to make sure when we talked about it that I knew all the things to say because I didn't want you to think I was mad or upset with you or thought for a moment that I had stopped loving you in any way. But... that happened regardless.
[The darkness that still lurks within can and will be talked another day. Once she figures it out for herself a bit better. But if he's fine then she will try and worry less. She watches him with slightly wide eyes as he jokes and falls onto his back, once more demanding kisses from her. At first... she's not sure if she likes joking about what happened so flippantly but that's him. That's how he handles these things. And, in the end, he does it to make her smile. Which she eventually does. A small one.
Perhaps joking about it and saying her kisses are the only way that can save him is the best way to move past it. So... she can play along. Gladly for his sake.]
Oh no! [She places her hands to her cheeks, ears shooting back to their upwards position.] I'll save you honey! [The Star Guardian holds out her hands as if she's flying through the sky and flops on top of him as dramatically as she can. Xayah drags herself closer to him from her position on his chest and again places her hands on his cheeks and says in a much softer voice:] I'll always save you.
[Gently she places a kiss on his lips, keeping it chaste for the sake of this made up narrative. Like the prince waking up the princess. Her fingers move to thread through his hair, curling it around her fingers for a moment.]
I love you, Rakan.
no subject
Xayah was the one that always thought ahead, whereas Rakan lived in the moment. Right now, things were fine. It was sorted out and they knew where they stood. What was going on in their heads. That might change in the future, and that would be fine by him, as long as they were still together.
He played the part as if right out of a soap opera parody with her, except instead of moving his arm as if to reach for her hand, he fished around in a pocket for some lip balm and made a whole display of prepping himself for this kiss. ]
Baby, but my lips! They're so....dry! [ She flopped on him and he huffed with an 'oof' and a laugh, and dropped the lip balm somewhere in the grass(never to be found again r.i.p.) to put his hands atop hers, and stare right into those pretty eyes of hers. She cooed, and a pleasant hum rumbled in his chest. ] I know. I'll always save you, too.
[ He chuckled and pressed his forehead to hers, enjoying and lingering in the chaste kiss given. He loved it when she played along. She was so cute, he was pretty sure she was more the knight in shining armor than he was, but he was fine with that. His hands slid down her arms and wrapped around her shoulders, holding her nice and snug without being too tight. ]
I love you too, Xayah. I'm not ever gonna stop loving you, no matter what. I'll always be here. We'll figure it all out together.
I hate seein' you so torn up. [ His forehead pressed to hers again, and he shifted a bit to get comfortable. Comfortable with the familiar weight atop him: his lady in his lap. His feet pulled in so his knees could raise on either side of her, better cradling her figure while his tail thumped slowly--rhythmically at the ground aside them. ] I'll try and be a little more patient next time.
[ Keyword: try. He would, indeed, try very hard. But he's awful when it comes to keeping things from Xayah. ]
no subject
What a long and perilous journey and, technically, not over. The Star Guardians still have a lot of work to do. There is evil to defeat and fate to overturn. But until those big battles happen she'll be more than content in Rakan's arms. They're overdue for some one on one time anyway...]
You know... I had one of your feathers... I held on to it because it was the only piece of you I had. And then one day... The wind just snatched it out of my hand. I tried to chase after it but it was gone and I felt so stupid. It just felt like it was a sign and I just... could not stop crying about it. [She puffs up her cheeks a bit.] I was pretty uncool while you were gone.
[Critically uncool almost all of the time.]
I was such a mess without you... [It may not seem like it with how she formed a team and managed to train them up and succeed in getting him back. But internally she'd never been in such turmoil. It was different from the hellbent revenge. It was a longing so painful and powerful it felt like it was going to consume her. She couldn't even hear the girls talk about perfect romance comics without attributing it to him and crying into her pillow that he might be gone forever.] So... now you know. You better stay by my side or I'm at risk of you know... being uncool and crying all the time.
[It's not coming out quite right but she's telling him all this so he knows how important he is to her. How much he means to her and always has. And always will! She is constantly moving forward and charging ahead and rarely glances back but that's only because she knows he's right behind. He's always with her. But perhaps she should glance his way now and then. Reconfirm that they're still together because without him here... She felt utterly flightless. Painfully earthbound without him.]
You just keep being you Rakan... [She squeezes him tight in her arms.] With or without patience... I'll meet you halfway in the future.
no subject
He looked up at her, quiet and calm. A little sullen, but the glimmer of wisdom hung on the edges of his expression. Perhaps of a lesson learned.
Being flashy before--he always thought himself invincible. And if he was invincible, he could always protect Xayah, come what may. But now, he knew he wasn't, and he couldn't risk that again. Especially after everything Xayah went through to save him. He seemed to focus back on her when she chimed in again.
Rakan liked to look at her and zone out. ]
What, t'ch..you? Uncool? [ He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes with a smile. ] Pre-tty sure that's impossible. [ He didn't know where he was going with that, so he pivoted. ]
I got plenty more--oh, actually, what if we got matching necklaces? That'd make everyone roll their eyes and wish they were as cool as us, but probably with less magic in it. It was probably just me missing that cute smile of yours though. I mean my feathers are pretty good beacons.
Sometimes when it got bad, I'd try to bait your team in just to see you. [ What she was saying didn't come out quite right, but he got the message. What he said was a little all over the place, but he trusted she understood the different ideas and how they were all related. ]
Consider: you start sitting on my shoulders every fight and we beat them in games of chicken. [ A cocky, playful grin flashed for a moment before softening. ]
I gotta make sure to take better care of me, too. I can't make you worry about me all the time, babe.
no subject
I was... Super uncool. You'd be shocked at how uncool I was. I think it's on video somewhere. Don't watch the vlogs... But I like that idea. I'd like to wear one of your fathers. And you should wear one of mine.
[Necklaces or... hair pieces? Something on their uniforms? They can workshop it. Maybe they can make a bunch of stuff and really accessorize. Later though... The now is what matters and with a content sigh she nuzzles into him as he continues to speak. With a delicate touch she runs her fingers along his chest, eventually settling where his heart is, savoring the rise and fall of his breathing. She truly can't express how glad she is that he's back with her.]
You better start... We can do it together. Less dessert more jogging in the morning? [She peeks up at him.] If you want to be part of my team you got to be the best of the best~ Did you assume you were going to just get to join because you're with me?
[She's teasing him, eyes crinkling and smile quite devious. He's, of course, on the team.]
Word has it you've been a bit of a bad boy and that might ruin our good girl reputation.