Rakan || The Charmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stickbow) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
carminacumulo2023-03-30 07:00 pm
stickbow) wrote in carminacumulo2023-03-30 07:00 pm
Entry tags:
So let's pretend a little longer
If anyone could flirt with falling, with death, with darkness in whatever sadistic form it could take, and come out alive, it had to be Rakan.
Not because he was some stupid, childish, too-good-to-be-true prince charming or some smarmy idiot that pretended to have terminal Main Character Syndrome just for the drama and entertainment of it. Not because it was some hidden-in-plain-view facade that he really was some kind of Main Character, like Lux or Lulu.
It had to be Rakan because, by very nature, he was always perfectly comfortable with light and darkness in equal measure. Underneath his wit and boyish charms, he didn't quite have what people called an old soul, but there was a natural sort of wisdom there. Just as the trees knew when to go dormant and when to bloom, Rakan seemed comfortable with light and darkness, and their mutable natures. Chaos wasn't bad, Light wasn't good. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. He moved through both realms with a natural ease.
---
He'd been playing games of cat-and-mouse with Xayah and a bunch of Star Guardians he hadn't crossed paths with in quite a long time. It was a game he excelled at, and had hitherto always run her in circles, dangling hope in her face like a carrot on a stick. Maybe this time she could be fast enough, maybe she was strong enough, maybe he didn't mean the things he said, maybe he didn't really mean the things he did. Maybe it was all just Zoe making him do it.
He couldn't let her get to him before.
Rakan knew himself, he knew that if Xayah got too close, he would throw everything away for her, even if it meant the death of the universe, if it was to make her smile, he would damn it all in a heartbeat.
He couldn't let her get too far away from him, either, or he might forget.
He might let himself get lost in Zoe's wrath and hurt. He might want to tear everything apart because the First Star didn't care how much he Z̴̡̫̳̫̙̞̯̘͎͗͑̑̂́̚͠ò̸̥̔͑̽͆ę̸̟͖̭͗͆̂̕̚ and Xayah H̵̨̼̘̓̔͝a̷̢̲̰͑r̴̜̦̳̤̭͉͗͌͋̅́̔p̶̫̭͎̳͍̱̮͑̑̔̄̑̓̅͝ͅ loved one another, and he might truly be gone, then.
Before leaving to find Nilah, Syndra was the one that told Ahri about Kai'sa.
---
Chess boards and fractured architecture floated in empty space. Somewhere off in the distance, an eternal night hid underneath a raging vortex of meteorites and debris of places long gone and forgotten--all of which, despite having neither eyes nor mouths, still felt like they were clawing to rip anyone who deign travel this realm into frayed pieces.
Rakan had almost been a one-man army. Well. Him and all of the void-hounds and other monsters that surrounded the two teams, anyway.
He had numbers on his side, but the monsters were suspiciously weak. Just distractions and busy work, always conveniently in the way when one of them almost had Rakan in their grasp.
Rakan never engaged Xayah directly, never properly. Sometimes sweep her up in a dance and remind her of the 'good old days,' but the second she twitched in his hold, he'd leap easily out of reach. It was always a few moments of attention paid especially to her, to taunt her. To tell her he's the best she ever had, and the best she'll never get. And then he was off again to one of the other Star Nerds. Two, three, four could engage him at a time, it didn't matter.
It wasn't that Rakan was particularly strong. He didn't need to be when he could just throw more minions at them. His skill had always been in his nimbleness and flashy nature, and how he danced around the battlefield. Ekko, Akali, and Kai'sa could get on top of him on occasion, but he'd just slip away to someone else with a rude gesture and a reminder that 'it wasn't their turn with him.'
He mocked any of the Star Guardians any time they reminded Xayah not to listen to him, that it's not really 'him.'
He toyed with them, his laughter a deep baritone that haunted this pocket of the chaos realm. True to a supervillain's rapport, of course. The difference between a criminal and a supervillain being, always, presentation.
But even as a fallen star guardian, he was still an imperfect, finite being. He was still Rakan, despite it all. And Xayah still knew him better than anyone else here. Knew patience would be her trump card over him.
It would come down to just the two of them.
Rakan had no interest in Kai'sa or Xayah's teams. They were just shiny new toys to play with. One by one, he got bored or frustrated with them. Those that threatened to overpower him were dealt with swiftly by minions, those that weren't as much of a direct threat, he enjoyed trying to read and figure out. As Rakan started to slow down, the Star Guardians were put down faster and faster by more and more waves of petty underlings. The ones with any energy at all left to fight back were simply harassed by the underlings, but not particularly attacked.
It was just down to the two of them, battered and bruised and bloody.
He scowled at her, but it wasn't clear why. The expression on his face was in knots, torn between anger, frustration, regret, disappointment. Something pent up he was trying to say, but couldn't. He could only seethe.
They could read eachother too well, even the minutiae. Their duel was full of almosts. She almost pinned him with her feathers, he almost swept her up into the air. She almost clocked him in the jaw, and he almost nailed her with a chunk of the chaos realm. She set a trap she knew he'd spring, he knew what she was trying and threw her trap back in her face.
Back and forth. The other guardians could only watch. Barely even that. A lot of them were no longer even transformed, but at least still breathing. Those with any energy left were staring down the minions bouncing around, as if they were about to attack, even though they never did.
Rakan was drenched in sweat and bleeding down the side of his face.
Once it came down to the two of them, he dropped the facade of arrogance. His was a very pointed focus--something quite rare for him--until he took a split-second opportunity in a moment's uncertainty to dart into her face. To scoop her up by the throat. Even this exhausted, he was just strong enough.
His legs might have shook under him, but his cape of feathers raised and glowed. His jaw clenched, and he gave her that look again. That look full of knots that juggled twelve different emotions at once. He bared his fanged teeth, brows quivering. He looked like he wanted to yell, to talk, to scream, to apologize, to throw her, to shake her, to cry onto her, to lecture her, all at once. Like he hated that he loved her, but loved her too much to ever stop loving her all at once.
He had never been one to bottle things up. It was more like a constipation. Hopelessness and helplessness that left him too constipated to do anything but drag her around by the heart for months on end until it fulminated in this moment.
"Don't make me do this too, baby." He wasn't threatening her. He murmured quietly for just them to hear.
He sacrificed everything not once, but twice for her. His life, his light.
His hand tightened around her throat.
That same thing clawing at his ribs like a wild animal, that had infiltrated that arrogant facade and screwed it up with a million different emotions flickering all at once, was begging her to not let him drown.
Not because he was some stupid, childish, too-good-to-be-true prince charming or some smarmy idiot that pretended to have terminal Main Character Syndrome just for the drama and entertainment of it. Not because it was some hidden-in-plain-view facade that he really was some kind of Main Character, like Lux or Lulu.
It had to be Rakan because, by very nature, he was always perfectly comfortable with light and darkness in equal measure. Underneath his wit and boyish charms, he didn't quite have what people called an old soul, but there was a natural sort of wisdom there. Just as the trees knew when to go dormant and when to bloom, Rakan seemed comfortable with light and darkness, and their mutable natures. Chaos wasn't bad, Light wasn't good. Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't. He moved through both realms with a natural ease.
---
He'd been playing games of cat-and-mouse with Xayah and a bunch of Star Guardians he hadn't crossed paths with in quite a long time. It was a game he excelled at, and had hitherto always run her in circles, dangling hope in her face like a carrot on a stick. Maybe this time she could be fast enough, maybe she was strong enough, maybe he didn't mean the things he said, maybe he didn't really mean the things he did. Maybe it was all just Zoe making him do it.
He couldn't let her get to him before.
Rakan knew himself, he knew that if Xayah got too close, he would throw everything away for her, even if it meant the death of the universe, if it was to make her smile, he would damn it all in a heartbeat.
He couldn't let her get too far away from him, either, or he might forget.
He might let himself get lost in Zoe's wrath and hurt. He might want to tear everything apart because the First Star didn't care how much he Z̴̡̫̳̫̙̞̯̘͎͗͑̑̂́̚͠ò̸̥̔͑̽͆ę̸̟͖̭͗͆̂̕̚ and Xayah H̵̨̼̘̓̔͝a̷̢̲̰͑r̴̜̦̳̤̭͉͗͌͋̅́̔p̶̫̭͎̳͍̱̮͑̑̔̄̑̓̅͝ͅ loved one another, and he might truly be gone, then.
Before leaving to find Nilah, Syndra was the one that told Ahri about Kai'sa.
---
Chess boards and fractured architecture floated in empty space. Somewhere off in the distance, an eternal night hid underneath a raging vortex of meteorites and debris of places long gone and forgotten--all of which, despite having neither eyes nor mouths, still felt like they were clawing to rip anyone who deign travel this realm into frayed pieces.
Rakan had almost been a one-man army. Well. Him and all of the void-hounds and other monsters that surrounded the two teams, anyway.
He had numbers on his side, but the monsters were suspiciously weak. Just distractions and busy work, always conveniently in the way when one of them almost had Rakan in their grasp.
Rakan never engaged Xayah directly, never properly. Sometimes sweep her up in a dance and remind her of the 'good old days,' but the second she twitched in his hold, he'd leap easily out of reach. It was always a few moments of attention paid especially to her, to taunt her. To tell her he's the best she ever had, and the best she'll never get. And then he was off again to one of the other Star Nerds. Two, three, four could engage him at a time, it didn't matter.
It wasn't that Rakan was particularly strong. He didn't need to be when he could just throw more minions at them. His skill had always been in his nimbleness and flashy nature, and how he danced around the battlefield. Ekko, Akali, and Kai'sa could get on top of him on occasion, but he'd just slip away to someone else with a rude gesture and a reminder that 'it wasn't their turn with him.'
He mocked any of the Star Guardians any time they reminded Xayah not to listen to him, that it's not really 'him.'
He toyed with them, his laughter a deep baritone that haunted this pocket of the chaos realm. True to a supervillain's rapport, of course. The difference between a criminal and a supervillain being, always, presentation.
But even as a fallen star guardian, he was still an imperfect, finite being. He was still Rakan, despite it all. And Xayah still knew him better than anyone else here. Knew patience would be her trump card over him.
It would come down to just the two of them.
Rakan had no interest in Kai'sa or Xayah's teams. They were just shiny new toys to play with. One by one, he got bored or frustrated with them. Those that threatened to overpower him were dealt with swiftly by minions, those that weren't as much of a direct threat, he enjoyed trying to read and figure out. As Rakan started to slow down, the Star Guardians were put down faster and faster by more and more waves of petty underlings. The ones with any energy at all left to fight back were simply harassed by the underlings, but not particularly attacked.
It was just down to the two of them, battered and bruised and bloody.
He scowled at her, but it wasn't clear why. The expression on his face was in knots, torn between anger, frustration, regret, disappointment. Something pent up he was trying to say, but couldn't. He could only seethe.
They could read eachother too well, even the minutiae. Their duel was full of almosts. She almost pinned him with her feathers, he almost swept her up into the air. She almost clocked him in the jaw, and he almost nailed her with a chunk of the chaos realm. She set a trap she knew he'd spring, he knew what she was trying and threw her trap back in her face.
Back and forth. The other guardians could only watch. Barely even that. A lot of them were no longer even transformed, but at least still breathing. Those with any energy left were staring down the minions bouncing around, as if they were about to attack, even though they never did.
Rakan was drenched in sweat and bleeding down the side of his face.
Once it came down to the two of them, he dropped the facade of arrogance. His was a very pointed focus--something quite rare for him--until he took a split-second opportunity in a moment's uncertainty to dart into her face. To scoop her up by the throat. Even this exhausted, he was just strong enough.
His legs might have shook under him, but his cape of feathers raised and glowed. His jaw clenched, and he gave her that look again. That look full of knots that juggled twelve different emotions at once. He bared his fanged teeth, brows quivering. He looked like he wanted to yell, to talk, to scream, to apologize, to throw her, to shake her, to cry onto her, to lecture her, all at once. Like he hated that he loved her, but loved her too much to ever stop loving her all at once.
He had never been one to bottle things up. It was more like a constipation. Hopelessness and helplessness that left him too constipated to do anything but drag her around by the heart for months on end until it fulminated in this moment.
"Don't make me do this too, baby." He wasn't threatening her. He murmured quietly for just them to hear.
He sacrificed everything not once, but twice for her. His life, his light.
His hand tightened around her throat.
That same thing clawing at his ribs like a wild animal, that had infiltrated that arrogant facade and screwed it up with a million different emotions flickering all at once, was begging her to not let him drown.
no subject
His brows knitted and his lips pursed just so, both with concern, and his attempt to focus and address all of her concerns. This was important, and he was trying. There was never a lack of effort, never a lack of care, he just couldn't help how scatter-brained he was.
It took him a minute to articulate a response because he tried to make sure he hit all of her concerns, rather than letting himself get side-tracked by all the little thoughts needling at the back of his mind.
Her touching her throat seemed to be a mental anchor for Rakan in the conversation, and as she replied, he rolled his weight forward with an upset frown on his face, and scooted closer to her. To wrap around her and press the warmth of his chest to her back, and to try and wrap his arms around her waist from behind. How could he explain all of it to her? There was so much buzzing around his head about it all. ]
I'm not mad.
Worried? Yeah, definitely worried cause I can see something eating at you all the time, but I didn't know what it was. I mean..y'know, good boyfriends don't do..that.
[ He nudged at her jawline with his nose. He couldn't bring himself to name it. ]
That wasn't me, but it was, and I hate that. That there was ever any reason I could do that at all. But I'm not the best at these kinds of talks, and you need time to process things, so I've just been waiting and hoping you didn't start to think I didn't love you.
Baby, practicing evil-laughs and our poses was fun. I don't think darkness is bad, just different. It shows you different things you can't see when the lights are on. Sorta like a cool blacklight poster.
Your determination? I love that. Your drive and focus is amazing! That's why I knew you could do it. It keeps me on track.
But when you get lost in the darkness, it's not.. it's different. It's all the things you don't see or understand, or all the things you try to hide from all coming out at once! Shaking you! You don't know what to do so you just do something! It's like being a Star Guardian the first time all over again and people are yelling all around you but instead of believing you're trying your best cause ooooh, they're light! It's automatically ooooh bad and evil cause darkness.
So everything you do is automatically bad when it's not really. It's just doing the only thing you know how to do!
Sssssort if.
I mean..when Zoe first..I think I had a nightlight? It was new and fun, and we got to explore the chaos realm without being constantly attacked, and there's a lot there! Have you SEEN all the stuff there? But you were so hurt. Babe, I saw it and I didn't know how to help you. You were hurting. A lot. So much that that's all that mattered, but how was I supposed to be mad at you? Neeko just..fucked off! Ahri left us! That hit you hard, babe.
I..I know you didn't love me any less! I just. Hated seeing you drown in it. I still had you to focus on and ground me in the dark. But you didn't have the First Light and I thought some core belief that drove you got shaken, so you were just running in the dark and grasping for a goal to chase, cause focusing on a goal is easier than facing what happened, you know?
I don't think you were gonna heal if I didn't turn on the lights for you.
When you ascended again, what was I supposed to do? I didn't know where to go any more so I started stumbling around. Without you to focus on, I got stuck in my own head.
Zoe isn't exactly leader material, either. She just made everything worse, repeating all the thoughts and twisting stuff up. But she was chasing something and she was hurting, too, and it's like her hurt got screwed up with mine. Syndra and me talked about it, but I don't remember. Something about sticks and music?
Being dark--I mean I didn't want to do those things. I kept trying to get away so I didn't hurt you cause I didn't want to. Every time I saw you I was just overwhelmed with so much. I was relieved and mad and sad. Scared. I knew better, but I couldn't see anything else in the dark but my own thoughts reflected back at me! But when you were gone, I was just empty. I just did stuff and didn't care! That ain't me!
Or..I think I did? No, yeah I definitely cared but I just wanted to get all the stuff in me out. And Syndra told me I needed to keep you guys out of the way for now cause stick-guy was part of the problem?
[ Rakan, slow down. There's a lot just pouring out.
He paused a moment. Her neck? Oh, yeah her neck. He felt awful about that. ]
I was worried you'd be scared of me--I shouldn't have done those things. I wouldn't, not in my right mind. I wish it didn't take seeing you fight tooth and nail to get through to me to finally get it through my thick skull. I should've never done that.
..I don't like how real talking about it makes it. I can't pretend it was someone else whose spine I can snap over my knee, y'know? It--it was me. I hurt you and didn't mean to. I would never want to, but that's what darkness does. But it's also not. Darkness just makes it easier to justify doing things when you're hurting that don't make sense, and whether it was darkness or Zoe or just me, I don't like that I ever did that.
I wish I could've just talked to you and that would've solved it, but I kept trying and it just got to be so much that I could never talk right. Everything was always all wrong somehow. It wasn't like this.
I'm just. Worried an I'm sorry isn't good enough. The wait for you to bring it up was sort of killing me cause I didn't know if you were still gonna be with me.
no subject
She breathes out slow leaning into his touch when he scoots closer. Her hands moving over his, returning every loving gesture as he works through what happened to him.
Most importantly what he's saying makes sense. About when they were lost in the darkness together. Where revenge is what kept her going for him, in turn, it was her. And without either they'd both have fallen even further. He just saved her before it could happen. She can only be mad at herself that being so angry at those circumstances blinded her to Rakan's pain. Would that she could do things differently.
She will make it up to him.
Xayah wiggles some to turn herself around in his grasp. Not trying to untangle herself from him and lose his hold but enough that she can turn around and face him. And when she can look at him in those brilliant eyes that are finally the right color and so full of adoration for her that she's finally seeing again she feels... at ease. She cups his face in her hands, gently brushing her thumbs along his cheekbones.]
I'm not scared of you. You will never frighten me no matter how lost you get. But I was scared for you. [She continues to brush her fingers along his face giving herself a moment to articulate just how she wants to say what needs to be said.] I never stopped loving you. Or fighting for you. It didn't matter what you did to me... I would keep at it all the same. And I knew it wasn't you. [She smirks a little.] You said I didn't like knives. You know I love knives. I knew that wasn't you... or quite you. That anything you said was to push me away so that you would stop hurting me. But I wouldn't let that happen. I wouldn't give up on you.
I will choose you every time.
But... regardless of what was or wasn't quite us I know you did things that are regrettable. I know the fear of the darkness that still exists and you wonder if you'll do those terrible things again. I am genuinely afraid I might lose you again. That we'd have to do it all over. But even if that's the case... I'd fight even harder. What can be done once can be done again.
[She presses her lips to the tip of his nose, offering a gentle kiss to ease any high strung feelings but nothing that could get carried away with.]
Which is why I'm asking... Are you okay? And if not how can I help. [She pinches his cheeks a little.] Serious answers only.
[None of this "Well a kiss will fix me up perfectly!" None of that. Though she will kiss him once they sort through this proper.]
Rakan you endlessly support me no matter what I do or where we go. Lean on me too... And know that I will always fight for you. Be it against light or darkness or anything in between. It's you... You are my first light.
[Okay. That's pretty cheesy. Embarrassingly so... Thank the stars they're alone. But... she does mean it with all her heart.]
ok im on desktop now so swapping between action and dialogue isn't a pain
There was a difference at letting things go, and bottling them up, and Rakan was not suited for the later. Of course, he hadn't been bottling it up, just waiting for the right time, but waiting wasn't something he was the best at, either.
It wasn't hard to recall how he felt, but his thoughts were like a big nebulous cloud of emotions and reasoning and commentary all intermingling and wrapping around and through eachother, that it was impossible to explain one idea without unraveling the entire tapestry of it, everything around it, and all of those sub-thoughts and ideas. But then when unraveling a tapestry, where does one start?
He had his starting point: he felt bad about hurting Xayah, and from there it was easy for him to run around between all of his ideas and get it out.
Rakan blinked when she started to wriggle, and unfurled the clamshell of his body to give her space to move and get comfortable as she liked before wrapping and draping over her once more. Or..as well as he could, now that she was facing him.
He liked this better.
His ears perked up, and while he didn't flash a bright grin or warm smile, there was a familiar excitement and spark of joy there. Her hands cup his face and he can't help but melt into a familiar grin and tilt his head into one of her hands, almost bashful if he wasn't so full of himself all the time. It was easy to just enjoy the moment, the break in the clouds now that so much of it was just out of him, but then the topic of their conversation came floating back into his head, and his smile melted into something more apologetic. ]
The day you stop liking knives is the day I stop liking chocolate. [ He snorted with a laugh and grinned at the idea, but fell silent again in contemplation. He was more comfortable now, and could better sort through his thoughts now that the concepts were all out in the open. ]
I know. I know you would. I love that! I love you, and I love that about you. But babe, I don't--I don't want to put you in a situation where you gotta deal with that again. I don't want to ask that of you again. I don't wanna do that again. That's like the whole point of loving someone: knowing they'd do that without putting them in a situation where they gotta.
I know you don't wanna put me in a situation like that again either.
[ Aw yeah, a nose-kiss. Nose-kisses were so cute. She looked like a little doll when she did it, all cute and sweet. Rakan's ears pinned back and he leaned in to steal a kiss to her cheek. Just a little teaser. But then she made him have to answer things. He pouted. Looked like he just suffered atop ten anime betrayal. ]
Okay, okay!!
I mean. I am your first light, so pfft--obviously I'm okay. I'm gonna get that cross-stitched and hung on the wall, by the way.
But..if you are, yeah. I'm okay. I was worried about you keeping it all bottled up. You looked like you were about to explode over there.
And I think about the whole darkness thing? I didn't like the evil part. I can do without that. In fact, I will do without that. But there was a lot there. Like a lot going on.
[ And now for the seamless transition into dramatics: A toothy grin spread on his lips, his ears pinned back and his tail curled, like a cat ready to pounce. ]
It's so much, Xayah! Oh no!! I think--I think. I think I'm slipping! [ He let her go to fall backwards on his back and put an arm dramatically over his forehead. ] Only kisses can save me! I think it's bad! We might even need to make out!
no subject
They can get it commissioned somewhere easy.]
I'm sorry... I didn't want to worry you. I was... [She shakes her head, ears remaining flat as well.] I wanted to make sure when we talked about it that I knew all the things to say because I didn't want you to think I was mad or upset with you or thought for a moment that I had stopped loving you in any way. But... that happened regardless.
[The darkness that still lurks within can and will be talked another day. Once she figures it out for herself a bit better. But if he's fine then she will try and worry less. She watches him with slightly wide eyes as he jokes and falls onto his back, once more demanding kisses from her. At first... she's not sure if she likes joking about what happened so flippantly but that's him. That's how he handles these things. And, in the end, he does it to make her smile. Which she eventually does. A small one.
Perhaps joking about it and saying her kisses are the only way that can save him is the best way to move past it. So... she can play along. Gladly for his sake.]
Oh no! [She places her hands to her cheeks, ears shooting back to their upwards position.] I'll save you honey! [The Star Guardian holds out her hands as if she's flying through the sky and flops on top of him as dramatically as she can. Xayah drags herself closer to him from her position on his chest and again places her hands on his cheeks and says in a much softer voice:] I'll always save you.
[Gently she places a kiss on his lips, keeping it chaste for the sake of this made up narrative. Like the prince waking up the princess. Her fingers move to thread through his hair, curling it around her fingers for a moment.]
I love you, Rakan.
no subject
Xayah was the one that always thought ahead, whereas Rakan lived in the moment. Right now, things were fine. It was sorted out and they knew where they stood. What was going on in their heads. That might change in the future, and that would be fine by him, as long as they were still together.
He played the part as if right out of a soap opera parody with her, except instead of moving his arm as if to reach for her hand, he fished around in a pocket for some lip balm and made a whole display of prepping himself for this kiss. ]
Baby, but my lips! They're so....dry! [ She flopped on him and he huffed with an 'oof' and a laugh, and dropped the lip balm somewhere in the grass(never to be found again r.i.p.) to put his hands atop hers, and stare right into those pretty eyes of hers. She cooed, and a pleasant hum rumbled in his chest. ] I know. I'll always save you, too.
[ He chuckled and pressed his forehead to hers, enjoying and lingering in the chaste kiss given. He loved it when she played along. She was so cute, he was pretty sure she was more the knight in shining armor than he was, but he was fine with that. His hands slid down her arms and wrapped around her shoulders, holding her nice and snug without being too tight. ]
I love you too, Xayah. I'm not ever gonna stop loving you, no matter what. I'll always be here. We'll figure it all out together.
I hate seein' you so torn up. [ His forehead pressed to hers again, and he shifted a bit to get comfortable. Comfortable with the familiar weight atop him: his lady in his lap. His feet pulled in so his knees could raise on either side of her, better cradling her figure while his tail thumped slowly--rhythmically at the ground aside them. ] I'll try and be a little more patient next time.
[ Keyword: try. He would, indeed, try very hard. But he's awful when it comes to keeping things from Xayah. ]
no subject
What a long and perilous journey and, technically, not over. The Star Guardians still have a lot of work to do. There is evil to defeat and fate to overturn. But until those big battles happen she'll be more than content in Rakan's arms. They're overdue for some one on one time anyway...]
You know... I had one of your feathers... I held on to it because it was the only piece of you I had. And then one day... The wind just snatched it out of my hand. I tried to chase after it but it was gone and I felt so stupid. It just felt like it was a sign and I just... could not stop crying about it. [She puffs up her cheeks a bit.] I was pretty uncool while you were gone.
[Critically uncool almost all of the time.]
I was such a mess without you... [It may not seem like it with how she formed a team and managed to train them up and succeed in getting him back. But internally she'd never been in such turmoil. It was different from the hellbent revenge. It was a longing so painful and powerful it felt like it was going to consume her. She couldn't even hear the girls talk about perfect romance comics without attributing it to him and crying into her pillow that he might be gone forever.] So... now you know. You better stay by my side or I'm at risk of you know... being uncool and crying all the time.
[It's not coming out quite right but she's telling him all this so he knows how important he is to her. How much he means to her and always has. And always will! She is constantly moving forward and charging ahead and rarely glances back but that's only because she knows he's right behind. He's always with her. But perhaps she should glance his way now and then. Reconfirm that they're still together because without him here... She felt utterly flightless. Painfully earthbound without him.]
You just keep being you Rakan... [She squeezes him tight in her arms.] With or without patience... I'll meet you halfway in the future.
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He looked up at her, quiet and calm. A little sullen, but the glimmer of wisdom hung on the edges of his expression. Perhaps of a lesson learned.
Being flashy before--he always thought himself invincible. And if he was invincible, he could always protect Xayah, come what may. But now, he knew he wasn't, and he couldn't risk that again. Especially after everything Xayah went through to save him. He seemed to focus back on her when she chimed in again.
Rakan liked to look at her and zone out. ]
What, t'ch..you? Uncool? [ He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes with a smile. ] Pre-tty sure that's impossible. [ He didn't know where he was going with that, so he pivoted. ]
I got plenty more--oh, actually, what if we got matching necklaces? That'd make everyone roll their eyes and wish they were as cool as us, but probably with less magic in it. It was probably just me missing that cute smile of yours though. I mean my feathers are pretty good beacons.
Sometimes when it got bad, I'd try to bait your team in just to see you. [ What she was saying didn't come out quite right, but he got the message. What he said was a little all over the place, but he trusted she understood the different ideas and how they were all related. ]
Consider: you start sitting on my shoulders every fight and we beat them in games of chicken. [ A cocky, playful grin flashed for a moment before softening. ]
I gotta make sure to take better care of me, too. I can't make you worry about me all the time, babe.
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I was... Super uncool. You'd be shocked at how uncool I was. I think it's on video somewhere. Don't watch the vlogs... But I like that idea. I'd like to wear one of your fathers. And you should wear one of mine.
[Necklaces or... hair pieces? Something on their uniforms? They can workshop it. Maybe they can make a bunch of stuff and really accessorize. Later though... The now is what matters and with a content sigh she nuzzles into him as he continues to speak. With a delicate touch she runs her fingers along his chest, eventually settling where his heart is, savoring the rise and fall of his breathing. She truly can't express how glad she is that he's back with her.]
You better start... We can do it together. Less dessert more jogging in the morning? [She peeks up at him.] If you want to be part of my team you got to be the best of the best~ Did you assume you were going to just get to join because you're with me?
[She's teasing him, eyes crinkling and smile quite devious. He's, of course, on the team.]
Word has it you've been a bit of a bad boy and that might ruin our good girl reputation.